Federer, who won 20 Grand Slam singles titles during his storied career, said his natural talent on the court only got him so far. He credited his longevity and consistency, at least in part, to his constant reliance on increasing his mental toughness.
“When you play a point, it should be the most important thing in the world,” Federer said. “But when it’s behind you, it’s behind you. That mindset is really critical, because it lets you fully commit to the next point, and the next point after that, with intensity and clarity and focus.”
“The truth is, whatever game you play in life, sometimes you’re going to lose… But negative energy is wasted energy,” he added.
In Federer’s case, he lost more often than a casual viewer might suspect.
“In the 1,526 singles games I played in my career, I won almost 80%,” he said. “What percentage of points do you think I won in those matches? Only 54% … When you lose every second point, on average, you learn not to hang on every shot.”
Developing a short-term memory, especially when it comes to setbacks — as small as your friend being mad at you or as big as losing your job — is extremely valuable, experts say.
The more you dwell on difficult times, the more you encourage self-criticism and a pessimistic inner monologue that keeps you from moving forward, according to Judy Ho, a neuropsychologist and professor at Pepperdine University.
“Sometimes we think negative self-talk helps us stay motivated,” Ho told CNBC Make It last month. “So we beat ourselves over the head thinking, ‘Oh, this will motivate me.’ But, in reality, we just end up fulfilling a self-fulfilling prophecy.”
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Letting go of painful or frustrating feelings doesn’t necessarily mean you’re suppressing your feelings. Allow yourself to experience your feelings and let them flow through you, Yale School of Management lecturer Emma Seppälä wrote for Make It in April.
“Let the emotions wash over you like an incoming wave, it keeps you underwater for a while, but eventually it will pass so you can resurface and get a breath of fresh air,” Seppälä wrote. “Note it down fully experiencing feeling does not fully mean expressing the during its peak… The point here is that by experiencing your emotion, you process and digest it. You will communicate better once you take these steps.”
Federer echoed the same advice: Take the time you need to recognize and process a troubling situation before putting it behind you, he said.
“You accept it, you yell if you have to and then you force a smile,” Federer said. “You move forward, you’re relentless, you adapt and grow, you work harder, you work smarter.”
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